HMF.

Why can't I get Isabella to sleep in her own bed now? Why does she need to be crawling onto Mitchell or I every second? I love her but I need my own bed. I will hold her all day long if I have to so I can sleep alone.


Tonight,I told Mitch I felt fine, and I would stay up with Zander. Zander, for some reason, is awake at 11:00p.m. I sent Mitch to bed and stayed on my laptop. But I am not fine. I am dreading the morning. My shoulder is aching me and I am struggling to find the positive things in my life.

We began using hte flylady to get our housework under control and it was working, too. Today was such a bad day, though, that really nothing got done so tomorrow there will be SO much more to do. And I am hurting. Why the hell do I have this? I F"ing hate it! I feel so trapped in my own self. I hate mornings so much now and it takes so long just to get myself moving. I have an appointment this month with the doc so I can see if I can try some anti depressants. My research says they cna help the pain. Well, I got my fingers crossed.

My only positive thought is, today I distracted myself with some sewing projects. I dont care how sore i get when I am crafting. Maybe I will do a bunch of that tomorrow to make it through.

off to bed. I hope i can sleep.